


Snatched

by chashkieh



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29079882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chashkieh/pseuds/chashkieh
Summary: Lucifer sits quietly after his abductors bind both his wrist with steel locks and then removes his gag. He taps his feet impatiently, waiting for these fools to tell him what they want. He could just stand up and squeeze it out of them, but it’s still too early.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Dan Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar, Linda Martin & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Mazikeen & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 86
Kudos: 218





	1. Chapter 1

Lucifer sits quietly after his abductors bind both his wrist with steel locks and then removes his gag. He taps his feet impatiently, waiting for these fools to tell him what they want. He could just stand up and squeeze it out of them, but it’s still too early. 

“Are you Mazikeen Smith?” The Devil looks on, unperturbed. After all, he did give out his mobile phone’s password so that they could get in touch with his colleagues. 

“You're not Lucifer.” 

“We have him. If you don't pay us, we'll kill him.” 

“ _Really_ ,” The demon drags the last syllable, thinking how absurd their claim is. There’s no way he’s —

“Hello, Maze-y.” The club owner responds because he knows his demon would need evidence. 

“There’s your proof.” Leo, one of the kidnappers, added, thinking all the while that this would be an easy transaction.

Maze snorts and replies, “Well, have fun when you're done playing possum! And I don't mean you.” The demon tells Leo, then drops the call. 

Leo doesn’t linger for long and proceeds to dial the next number from Lucifer's recent call list. 

Maze isn't _that_ concerned, but she already has her King's location and could make an appearance at a moment's notice. The demon is confident she could sit this one out, though. 

* * *

“Daniel Espinoza?” Leo says after being given the douche’s real name. 

“Who are you?” 

“We have Lucifer Morningstar. If you don't pay up, we'll kill him!” 

“Yeah, right.” 

Dan groans and hangs up at what he considers one of the many pranks Lucifer has played on him ever since he pulled that trigger. 

Even though it's annoying, it's harmless, and Dan allows it if only to make up for that mishap, and perhaps, in the future, they could become bracelet bros again. 

Leo frowns and shakes his head at the club owner, and then hands over the phone to Brian to dial the next number, thinking the latter would have better luck.

* * *

“Dr. Martin, we have Lucifer —” 

“Okay…? And?” 

“What?” 

“I mean, what do you want me to say?” 

“That you'll pay up in exchange for his life?” 

“Uhhh, one: he's immortal. Two: he has more money than God. A piece of advice? Brace for impact. It's gonna get real ugly soon.”

“What?” 

Linda sighs, “Don't say I didn't warn ya.” then presses the end call button on her screen. 

The therapist considers calling Maze or Chloe or even Amenadiel but decides against it, assessing that the Devil's kidnappers are simpletons. Which means he wouldn't require assistance. 

"Hello?" Brian says on the other line but is met with a click, a clear indication that they've been cut off again. 

Jesus Christ. That's the third one today in their captive’s contacts that brushed them off. 

“Why don’t you try my partner?” Lucifer offers, and his captors don't even object. The club owner even tells them that the Detective is on his speed dial. 

Quite honestly, they’re the worst abductors Lucifer has ever seen. He only let them gag and bound him because he was bored and wanted to do something else to kill time. Chloe’s buried in her paperwork that she literally kicked him out of the precinct so that she could focus. 

And what he wouldn’t give to give her everything and anything she desires. 

Two rings, and Chloe picks up.

“Detective Decker? We have your partner, Lucifer Morningstar. Better pay up, or we'll kill him.” 

If this were any other person, she would have already alerted the precinct and whoever else to get the victim home safely. While she's not one hundred percent glad that it's Lucifer they've managed to nab (she's fairly sure her boyfriend came willingly. For fun, perhaps.), it's still reassuring how she knows he would come out of it unscathed. _Poor saps_ , she thinks. _They don't know who they're dealing with._

Chloe sighs loudly on the receiver and asks, “Could you put him on the phone?” 

“What?” 

“Put. Him. On. The. Phone.” The Detective pauses, irritated. “ _Please,_ ” she adds, and she hears the culprits arguing. 

“You're on speaker.” 

“Lucifer,” she starts, “Whatever you do, please make sure you're in time for dinner?” 

“Certainly, Detective.” 

“Why did you let them take you anyway?” 

“Oh, I thought you hired them to surprise me.” 

“Yeah, no. Anyway, at least try to be gentle?” 

“No promises!”

She could definitely picture the enormous grin on his face just by the glee in his voice. He’s enjoying this too much.

“Okay," She says, obviously to Lucifer, and continues with, "Good luck, you guys, you're going to need it.” 

The phone clicks off, and the two knuckleheads just look at each other, wondering what the heck just happened. 

Still trying to look tough, Brian comments. 

“Well, it seems like your partner doesn't care about you at all, Mr. Morningstar.” 

But when he turned around, Lucifer had already broken the steel locks. 

“What the…?” 

“Oh, don't get my partner wrong, Mister Kidnapper, sir. She does worry about me but only when I'm dealing with nonhumans." The Devil glances at his watch and says, "Oh my, look at the time! She's gonna tear me a new one if I'm late. Now, who wants to go first?” 

* * *

Lucifer gets to the Detective’s house in time for dinner, making sure he wrapped up his abductors nicely, paired with a giant ribbon, and delivered straight to the precinct with a note containing incriminating evidence. He would’ve given them money, but when he figured out these two were doing this for a while, he changed his mind. 

Now, was his feelings hurt when his friends and partner dismissed his predicament? Nope! Lucifer knows they'd come running if he really needed help. That, and he has a reputation to keep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy with the response I got from this one so I wrote a short second chapter. Hope you enjoy it as well! And thank you!

Brian and Leo spend only a year in jail as a probation condition due to a technicality. But old habits die hard, and after stepping out of prison, they were at it again.

They set their eyes on a blonde woman who just finished loading her groceries in a red Bentley Bentayga. The SUV alone could rack up a few thousand more above its original price, but the person driving it is probably worth millions. They’re not wrong about that, though. But, they shouldn’t have messed with the woman. 

Leo distracts the blonde while Brian sneaks from behind and laces her with chloroform then puts a sack on her head. 

“Hello there, Miss…?” He removes the cover on her head after securing her hands and feet on that metal chair. 

Visibly annoyed, she doesn’t even wait for her vision to adjust to the poor lighting and asks, "What do you want?”

“Just money. So, who do we contact?”

“How long was I out?”

“Not long. About thirty minutes, give or take.”

The blonde pauses to think, “What time is it?”

“Past seven. Now wait a minute, I’m the one asking questions here.”

“I’m late for dinner, and you guys are gonna be in a _lot_ of trouble.”

“You don’t scare us —” But his voice is clipped when Brian shows him her wallet. Leo stares at her ID wide eye — Chloe Decker, a Detective — as it brings back memories from last year.

“Shit,” Leo mutters when the Detective’s phone rings after he turns it on. Several missed calls register: one from Maze, Linda, Dan, and...the caller id says Lucifer.

Leo drops the phone, not knowing that his thumb has pressed the answer button. 

Chloe sighs, “It’s Lucifer, isn’t it?” She doesn’t need to hear their answer to confirm. “And you’re the guys from last year, aren’t you? The one who took him? You never learn, do you? I’ll make sure you’re put away in jail for life this time.”

Brian cocks his gun and points it to Chloe’s head. “I’m not going back to jail.”

“You’re so stupid. If you kill me, you’re still gonna get a life sentence. And _then_ you’ll probably get a special visit when you kick-off.”

“What?”

The apartment’s door flies open and gets ripped from its hinges, and startles the kidnappers. They’re currently in the basement, but the Bentley is parked on their driveway — all for everyone to see — and man, that’s _stupid_. It's like deliberately putting a target on their backs (although they already have the Devil's attention and not in a fun way). 

“Oh, they’re here.” The blonde simply states, nonchalant. Lucifer knows she’s never late, and if she was, she always makes it a point to text her whereabouts. It’s also funny how these idiots didn’t notice the personalized license plate on her car (Lucifer’s idea) that makes it unique: “D8NGS8N”

Not that it would curb any attempts but, come on! It's custom-made for a reason. 

"I hope it's worth the trouble," Chloe adds, still fuming at her abductors' poor sense of self-preservation.

Brian and Leo try to bolt, but Maze stands in their way, twirling her knives as if ready to butcher them. 

Meanwhile, Lucifer removes the handcuffs from Chloe. He takes a good look at her from head to toe. Apart from the obvious marks from the handcuffs, she’s virtually unscathed, but he can’t say the same for the morons who took her after he’s done with them.

Lucifer stands up but stops when Chloe’s hand lands on his forearm.

“Please try to be gentle.” She tells him again the same words from last year that he had to smirk. 

“No promises.”

"On second thought, give 'em hell."

"Happy to oblige, darling."

The culprits were later sentenced to life in prison after their latest stint to an officer of the law nonetheless. They definitely learned their lesson now. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this is the last chapter! XD I don't know why but the ideas just kept coming and it would be really funny if they made the same mistake, almost like a running gag, of kidnapping Lucifer's closest friends.

* * *

By some twist of fate, Brian and Leo escape when their transport met with an unfortunate accident. Any other sensible person would have run away from Los Angeles and got themselves a new identity whatsoever, but these two came back to their shitty apartment for a change of clothes. 

But on the way there, they grab a random child in hopes of making a quick buck. 

The child rolls her eyes at her kidnappers, keeping her composure despite being a little afraid because that's what she's been taught. If she shows weakness, they will only prey on her, and that's not acceptable. 

"My mother is a police officer. She could arrest you."

Brian laughs off nervously. The child could be lying to throw them off. 

"Ooh, I'm scared, now."

"Well, you should be," The child holds her chin up, "My mother's former roommate is supposed to pick me up today. She's probably tracking me now."

"Oh, is that so?" 

"Hhmm!" The child bobs her head in confirmation. "Plus, my mom's boyfriend is the devil. Perhaps you've heard of him?" 

"Pfft. Devil my ass. Listen, kid —" 

"His name is Lucifer Morningstar."

The pair pales upon hearing that name and checks the girl's id: Beatrice D. Espinoza with an emergency contact named Chloe Decker. 

"Shit," Why does this keep happening to them? 

Brian makes the first move and removes the child's restraints. 

"Just go; we don't want any trouble."

Trixie rubs off her wrists and retorts, "Well, you should have thought of that before you grabbed me."

"W—"

"Yes, you should have."

A voice from the dark says, and the duo swears they saw its face morph into something else until it makes itself known. 

"Maze!" Trixie squeals in delight at how fast the bounty hunter located her. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah!" 

Maze's brow twitches upon recognizing the child's abductors. 

"It's you, dullards, _again_. How many times do we need to do this? You guys got a death wish or something?" 

Brian and Leo get on their knees to plead with the demon to take them back to prison. The several broken bones last time reminded them how dangerous she is, and they're not willing to go through that again. 

"You boys stay right here, you hear me?" 

The pair nods, not even daring to move from their spot.   
  
"I will hunt you down if the unis don't find anyone here, got it?"

"Yes, ma'am. We'll stay put. Please, just take the child and leave."

"Good choice. But I should warn you, Lucifer and Chloe are going to be pissed. Best of luck."

* * *

When Dan finds out later that day, he pulls some strings and lets the idiots know what's on his mind. They don't mess with his family. Although he's a little bit surprised at how forthcoming they were, and he wonders what's in a name. Because the moment he mentioned Lucifer, the pair got down on their knees, begging him to forbid any future visits from the famed club owner. 

"Well, I don't have such authority. I wish you guys the best," 

Dan could see the fear in their eyes and he finds this somewhat satisfying. It made him feel at ease, too, knowing that whatever difference he and Lucifer had, the latter would always protect Trixie. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay! My muse lied about Chapter 3 being the final chapter LOL! But the two idiots needed closure so here ya go. XD

* * *

Stupidity at its finest is repeating the same thing over and over, each time, expecting a different result. Much like a Hell loop, except no one ever escapes. 

Brian and Leo got electrocuted in a brazen attempt of escaping by scaling the walls of the prison grounds. They crossed the threshold at record speed, and Azrael — who usually doesn't comment or talk to souls she helps transport — was in a laughing fit after reading the pair’s series of misfortunes after crossing paths with none other than her favorite brother. The Angel of Death isn't implying that it's Lucifer's fault because it never is. Their poor choices sealed their fate. 

_It's like a running gag,_ she says in between her laughs before dropping them off to their destination without any further word. 

Of course, the partners have no recollection of them actually dying. 

Their Hell loop revolves around Lucifer and his closest friends and how each of the pair's attempts at extorting money failed spectacularly. 

For one, they grabbed a child being loaded by his mother in a car seat and thought the baby had nothing to do with the club owner. But they didn't even get far because the child's mother managed to grab Brian's hair and held on to it in a vise grip. It made Brian yelp in pain and let the baby go but then bumps into another man who turns out to be the baby's father. 

They found themselves back in the precinct and face to face with Detective Decker. Leo and Brian almost peed themselves when the woman — Dr. Linda Martin — told them that Amenadiel, the father of the baby they just tried to kidnap, is Lucifer's brother. 

_Shit._

Lucifer doesn't make an appearance, but Maze was there, grinning at the duo. Amenadiel and Chloe exit and lock the interrogation room, leaving the offenders to the demon's mercy. That is if there's mercy to be had. 

The loop resets, and this time, they grab Dan. But Dan is no pushover. He doesn't give them a chance to drag him to their vehicle and gives them a vicious beating before taking them back to the precinct to face Detective Decker again, who simply sighs and shakes her head, then points to a corner in the interrogation room where Maze awaits. 

The loop resets, and they attempt to kidnap Ella. But Ella's brothers were in the area. They left Brian and Leo almost half-dead, and the last thing the duo remembers is being dragged by some chick in leather boots. When they came to, they're hanging by their wrists, their feet barely touching the ground, and the chick, who turns out to be Maze, lays out her set of torture devices, and all they could do is scream. 

The loop resets once more. Brian and Leo are back at their shitty apartment with Lucifer in tow. They called people on his recent call list, and everyone dismissed them, citing how the man is really the Devil and some shit. 

Tired of being given the runaround and the apparent disregard for the club owner's life by the people on the contacts list, Brian decides to pull the trigger. Maybe then the police will take them seriously. (Although, again, that’s stupid because they won’t get anything if their victim is dead.)

But when the expected gore of a blasted skull from a gunshot wound to the head fails to manifest, Brian takes a step back as the dead but not really dead, speaks. 

"How rude!" Lucifer exasperates as he stands up and breaks free with his sheer strength. "And to think I've ordered my demons to give you a little breathing room for the entertainment you've provided during your brief stay on Earth."

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

"Exactly! You're in Hell! Welcome, you degenerates. How is your stay so far?" 

"Huh?" 

"Duh. You mean, you don't remember how you got your whole body burned to a crisp? Your remains were so charred; forensics had to do a DNA test with your teeth to confirm your identities. Still doesn’t ring any bells?”

“No, no. It can’t be. We’re not dead.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourselves. Well, best leave you guys to it. Enjoy eternal torture.”

Brian and Leo watch as Lucifer walks towards the door but then looks back at them with a different face — a horrifying one at that — smirking, and it was at that moment they remember how screwed they are. 

Resigned to their fate, they slump on the ground as the people they’ve wronged gather around them. Then the loop resets, and they’re at it again, their recent encounter with the Devil himself long forgotten. 

Maze and Lucifer watch from afar, the demon clicking her tongue at the lack of flair (as the Lord of Hell would like to call it) of this particular Hell loop.

“You’ve truly gone soft,”

Lucifer rolls his eyes dramatically, offended at his demon’s accusation. 

“What? You don’t think it’s funny how I had Linda almost tear that guy’s head off? I mean, she would have done just that if they get near Charlie. And what about the scenes with the Detective? Those are my favorites because soon after, they know you’ll be torturing them.”

Maze nods, “Okay, yeah. I enjoyed that bit.”

“I’m heading back. Are you staying?”

“Nah. I gotta help Trixie hone her knife-wielding skills.”

“Right.”

The Devil and demon exit the loop and flies back to the mortal plane with some hounds disguised as puppies because as dumb as the previous perps were, it wouldn’t hurt to take extra precaution. The Detective won’t like the idea at first — he supposes — but that hasn’t stopped him before. 

_Now, who would be dumb enough to try and get past the hounds?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say anymore LOL!!!! I saw a comment about the hounds so I *absolutely* have to write it. Why can't my muse give me ideas for my other works instead? XD

* * *

Trixie couldn’t contain her joy upon seeing the golden retriever puppies lounging about in their apartment. As far as she knows, pets aren’t allowed, but maybe the rules have changed? 

The urchin and her mother don't know that Lucifer bought the entire complex when he couldn't convince the owner (that's a first!) and paid him a hefty sum instead. He then assigned a liaison — personally screened by him — to look after the place with the Devil’s own set of rules. The club owner also instructed Mr. Tucker (the one posing as the new proprietor) to divert the Detective's rental payment to Beatrice's college funds discreetly.

“Mommy, can we keep them, please? Please, please, please!”

Chloe crosses her arms and arches her brows at her boyfriend, who plays it cool.

“Oh, don’t worry, Detective. I’m leaving just the one. The other pup is for Charlie.”

“Charlie’s barely three years old.”

“So…?”

“Ugh. And what about the landlord?”

“I heard Mr. Thomas is moving to Detroit, and the new head honcho doesn’t have qualms with pets.” Lucifer stifles a laugh because, technically, he's the new head honcho. 

“And how do you know this?”

“I talked to the owner, of course! Wouldn’t want to get you in trouble, Detective.”

“Uh-huh. Anyhow, monkey, just make sure you’ll take care of this puppy, okay?”

“You got it, Mom!”

“That’s fixed then! I’ll just drop this other furball to Amenadiel and be back before dinner.”

“Okay,”

Chloe is suspicious, but she doesn’t question anymore as she gets distracted and then overwhelmed by the puppy’s eyes and, well...overall fluffiness. 

* * *

Amenadiel and the other puppy are having a staring contest while Lucifer explains to Linda what the creature really is and how it’s going to watch over Charlie.

“I don’t know, Luci. He looks cute, but he’s from Hell,”

“Right, and you think you can get a unicorn from Heaven to protect your child when you’re away? _Please._ ” Lucifer shrugs, and Linda doesn’t say anything. 

Amenadiel looks away, and the puppy immediately relaxes, lifts its hind legs, and begins to scratch behind its ears. 

“We all know unicorns aren't a thing. Look at it!” The dark angel points to the oblivious pooch who’s still scratching.

“I _am_ looking at it. Maybe it’s allergic to something because it wasn’t doing that when we were in the Detective’s apartment.”

“What?”

“The urchin has one as well, err, they're twin hounds. I mean, what’s the issue?”

“Its kin tried to eat me,”

“Oh, please! That was eons ago. Get over it! Besides, you were trespassing. You can’t expect them to just stand there and watch. They’re guard dogs for a reason, brother.”

Amenadiel sighs.

“Look, I understand your reservations, but these hounds, once they’ve imprinted on their charges, will be loyal to them. Forever. That, and they would never defy me. So you see, brother, you don’t have to worry needlessly.” Lucifer explains.

“Right,” 

“Uhh, I have a question,” Linda finally speaks while giving the puppy a belly rub, “does it eat like a normal dog?”

“Yes, Doctor. They should be growing at a normal pace, so just treat it like any other pet. They’re brilliant, too. So! I better get going. Have fun.”

Lucifer leaves, and once again, the eldest angel stares at the hound. He notices the faint glow of red eyes, an indication of its feral nature, and breathes a sigh. It’s probably going to take him a while to get accustomed to its presence, but for Charlie, the risk is worth it.

“So, what should we name him?”

“Duke sounds nice.”

“Duke, it is.”

* * *

“So, what did you name him, urchin?”

“Beelzebub!”

Maze, who’s drinking vodka on the counter, snickers at the namesake.

“Why, for the love of everything unholy, would you name him that?”

“Because it suits him! He’s a little devil after all.”

This elicits a mirthless laugh from Lucifer that he almost regrets gifting the coveted hound to the spawn.

“You don’t like it?”

“Well, he’s yours, so you can name him whatever you want.”

* * *

Trixie’s walking her new puppy when some guy approaches her, asking her inappropriate things. But she ignores him completely because she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. However, the creeper wouldn’t let up and kept on bothering her with useless inquiries. 

“Leave me alone, please.”

Trixie finally tells the guy off, but he wouldn’t budge. Beelze growls and barks at the man, but his small voice won't be enough to scare the imbecile shitless, let alone scare him at all. If they were in Hell, he would have bitten his head off, but here on the mortal plane, his power is limited yet enough to make sure his master is safe.

The guy laughs at the Beelze’s barks, mocking it until he notices several dogs of all sizes — from rottweilers to pit bulls, even chihuahuas — approaching their direction. In a matter of minutes, he’s surrounded, and the intense growling and barking petrified him that he gives up and runs. 

After that, the dogs disperse on their own, and Trixie is in awe of what her puppy did to protect her. 

* * *

Beelze — after making sure Trixie is asleep — makes his way to the King of Hell. 

“Report.”

Lucifer says nonchalantly while taking a sip of his top-shelf whiskey. 

“Some reprobate tried to take my charge,” 

The hound starts off—telepathically, of course—that it made Lucifer scowl at the audacity of some human stains in the presence of a hellhound. Of course, on the mortal plane, Beelze looks harmless, and maybe, "Ugh," Lucifer groans. That’s the issue.

“I handled it, Sire, but perhaps, you’d allow my twin and I to grow a lot faster?” The hound tilts its head to the side, waiting patiently for a favorable response.

“I think you might be right. In that case, you should be full-grown — at least a little above the average size of earth breeds, well this particular breed for that matter — in three weeks.”

“But Sire,”

“Three weeks should be enough. We don’t want to draw any attention, Beelze.”

“Yes, Sire. So the instructions stand? No total annihilation of dimwits unless absolutely necessary?”

“Yes. Show Mazikeen what this lowlife looks like so she can hunt him down.”

“As you command.” The hound turns to leave but stops midway and says, "Another question, Sire." 

"Out with it." 

"Why are we Golden Retrievers, my brother and I? A Cane Corso or a Rottweiler or maybe even a Doberman would have been preferable. Humans tend to steer clear from those on the get-go." 

"You're correct on your assessment. However, if everyone is intimidated by you and your brother's presence, then you may not be allowed to stay by your charge's side at all times. A retriever is perceived to be very friendly and, therefore, would allow you to blend in effortlessly. "

"I understand now."

"Good. Anything else?"

"No, Sire. I'll return to the child now."

"Yes, you do that."

Lucifer retakes a sip. The second reason why he chose the specific guise is that Chloe had a Golden Retriever before (apart from that mischievous chihuahua who bit her behind when she was little), and the devil thought she'd be easier to convince if he plays his cards right. 

* * *

Three weeks later.

“Whoa! How are you this big already?” Trixie said when she came back from a week-long camping trip. 

“Like what I’ve told you, urchin, he’s above average. He’d be able to protect you fully, now.”

Trixie shrugs, all this while believing that Lucifer doesn’t know what occurred a few days ago or what Beelze did for her. She didn’t even tell her mother or Maze. She knows she should have, but all turned out okay anyway.  
  
 _Let's see what idiot tries to mess up with this time around._

Meanwhile, Amenadiel looks on helplessly as Charlie rides Duke like a pony. Duke, who respects the angel a little bit because of Lucifer, shows his teeth in protest when Amenadiel tries to take Charlie off of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [saddevilsam's Post](https://t.co/i1uHNewRle)  
> 


End file.
